You Should Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

For a long time, I downplayed how much I really wanted to celebrate my birthday.

I protected myself by avoiding plans entirely, or by making them so last minute the rejection felt justified. Underneath it all was the fear that I didn’t truly belong. When you crave connection, it often feels safer to ask for nothing than to risk the pain of finding out.

Then life, loss and babies changed how I wanted to navigate that fear.

I decided that in the same way I genuinely love celebrating the people I love being born into this world, there are absolutely people who want to do the same for me. And even if they can’t make it, I still want to celebrate my own life entirely without compromise.

Here at Autre & Part, we think there should be more reasons to make a big deal out of your life. It’s part of how we look at every villa in our collection: What memories could you make here?

So if you want the château in France, have the château in France. Get the tiny cake with the piped swirls and fresh flowers. Set the table with fabric draping to the floor. Wear multiple outfits. Hire the photographer. Have someone play the violin. Gather your favorite people in one place.

And then, for once, allow yourself to be waited on.

Our homes with a private chef, butler and staff are undeniably beautiful. But there is also something sacred about being able to slow down and be taken care of. To relax into the hours without any thought of time.

Hosting is a gift, and making the people you love feel cared for is a beautiful thing. But there is another kind of luxury in dreaming up the whole experience and actually getting to be present for it. Let the chef make dinner. Let someone else refill the wine and clear the table while you stay outside, caught up in conversation with your friends.

That is our version of having your cake and eating it too.

Maybe birthdays aren’t the milestone you’ve been minimizing. Maybe you earned the promotion. Maybe the company you built reached ten years. Maybe you found community in a season when you really needed it.

Whatever you secretly wish were celebrated more, make a big deal out of it.